The blind leading the blind

 "Abusive people often have to resort to manipulation. The tactics that they use are varied, but the more common one is censorship. If they can control what people speak or write, they use "thought control." They approve what they view as "correct speech."

Some additional tactics manipulators use are listed at Goodtherapy.org. I encourage you to look this information up for yourself. The list of tactics are:

• Using intense emotional connection to control another person's behavior
• Playing on a person's insecurities
• Lying and Denial
• Hyperbole and Generalization
• Changing the subject
• Moving the Goal Posts
• Using fear to control another person
• Using social inequities to control another person
• Passive-Aggression
• Giving a person the silent treatment
• Gaslighting
• Recruiting others to help with manipulation

Does this mean that all manipulation is inherently wrong? The thing to look for is if you still have the freedom to make your own choices. When you do make your choice, what is their response? Do they demean? Do they belittle? Do they engage you to understand your viewpoint? Do they respect you to have your own opinion?

Critical thinking is a process that a person uses to form the own opinions. It sifts through a host of varied and sometimes conflicting sources of information. It goes through a process of determining which sources are reliable and which ones are not.

A critical thinker makes decisions independently. They don't need the constant hand-holding other's need. The fight for one's independence is an ongoing challenge. Those that manipulate hate those with that independent streak in them.

Sincerely,

David A. Kitchens, Editor

Winter 2021

Are you using the "Truth" for the right reasons?

Have you been told that the truth will set you free? The "truth" can be a dangerous thing.  It can bring things together as well as separate. Scripture teaches that the truth is a two-edged sword. A tool has no power on its own. They have to be picked up and used. It is in the intention, purpose, and design of the wielder that makes a tool helpful or harmful.

For the word of God is living and effective and sharper than any double-edged sword. It is penetrating as far as the separation of soul and spirit, joints and marrow. It can judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. - Hebrew 4:12 (Edited)

In the world of social media, there is one blatantly missing factor. That factor is the emotional input of the speaker and reader. I have problems with my ears. I have lost most of my hearing while in the U.S. Navy. It became apparent that body language, emotional context, and a host of other factors go into the process of communicating. A person that is deaf relies on the non-verbal parts of communication more than people realize. I contend that people, in general, do as well. 

According to several sources, body language accounts for nearly 65% of all communication. It isn't as important as what you say but (1) the inflection in your voice and (2) body language. That being the case, the amount of mixed signals one can generate is astonishing. 

Admittedly, body language and your inflection are not an exact science. The culture you grew up in plays a large part in defining what certain things mean. One prime example is the use of the sign that represents the number 2 and the Peace sign. In the United States, these definitions are generally universally accepted. However, in Great Britain, the U.S. Peace sign is taken as an insult. It means the same as if you were "flipping someone off" by extending your middle finger at someone. 

To explain this, one needs to go back in History. When Great Britain and France was fighting each other, England had one weapon that caused concern among the French. That weapon was the English Long Bow. When the French would capture English soldiers, they would amputate the first two fingers. Thus, before a battle, the English would extend their first two fingers in a display of defiance.

Modern Psychology agrees that this is a clue as to what someone is feeling. It is possible, then, to speak the truth and display an emotion that contradicts the meaning. The feeling is a clue as to the intent, purpose, and desire of the person speaking. A person can twist the truth to fit their purpose.

Of recent note, there is a passage of scripture that people twisted to suit an evil purpose. They use the verse where Yeshua (Jesus) leaves the 99 to search for the one. They then proclaim that a segment of our population is "that one." I asked a simple question. For what reason did Yeshua leave the 99 and go out to search for the "one?" I received no answer. I asked, "Are you proclaiming the gospel to that "one"? The accusations I received are right on course for a society slowly losing the battle, a battle where the consequences will be extreme. The result is not like they hope it will be.

Praise to Our God 5 Concert - Hinneni Kan(Here I Am)

Rumors and the "Importance of Respect"

 

I was driving around the backroads of Hardeman County and took this picture. I am an Amateur Photographer. I enjoy driving the dirt roads where few people venture. Those that drive down these dirt roads are usually getting from one field to another. It is not uncommon to see combines and other farm equipment along the sides of the road. I have witnessed these machines in use.

As I was driving, I came across this particular farmhouse. You could tell it had been there a while. As I got out to look around, I noticed an old combine sitting all by itself.

This combine stood out. How long it had been sitting there before I came across it is unknown. I could tell by the looks of it that it had seen its fair share of harvests and maintenance.

Further back from this combine was this old building. It was a shed that had long since better days. As I was taking these pictures, an old farm truck stopped. The driver got my attention. He wanted to know what I was doing. I explained my intent and purpose. Thankfully, he agreed!

I mentioned that I saw this old-style refrigerator just sitting in the middle of the yard. He smiles. His eyes lit up. He explained that he and his son still ran cattle on several fields in the area. He takes me over to this refrigerator and shows me this!

Cattle need a source of freshwater. This faucet was the source where it could provide them with that. A broken faucet was a hindrance to their need for water. People tend to be more careful around that faucet!

The importance of respect is allowing this Gentleman to tell his side of the story. I wonder how many times he was accused of being the "typical" redneck that allows his "fields" to become junked over?

Rumors are dangerous in that a portion is a truth. However, there remains a portion that isn't true. I will not go as far as calling it a lie. It could be the imagination of the person spreading the vicious rumor. Respect allows you to get to the "other side" and make your own decision. The assumption that everything spoken about someone is the truth is not only dangerous but also naïve! 

The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly. - Proverbs 18:8

There is a story about a man working at a temperature station. It was his job to check the temperatures of the employees coming to work. According to the rumor, the passenger in the car leaned across to have their temperature checked. This man leaned in, according to the story, took the temperature by reaching across the driver. In this rumor, he was supposed to have "smelt" the driver and said, "You smell nice!" An employee should have a reasonable expectation of respect.

Well, yesterday I got a chance to talk to this man. He laughed at the thought of him, "sniffing" the driver. He flat out denied that portion of the story. He went on to explain what he did. Admittedly, after having heard his side of the story, I would have done things differently. I have done it differently. It is my opinion that he didn't think things through. I don't believe he "sniffed" anyone.

It reflects upon the person spreading the truth along with an "embellishment" of their personal bias.  In this case, I would refer to the word "embellishment" as the politically correct word for an outright lie! Sometimes the "truth" doesn't engage a person. Sometimes the truth is bland. Sometimes it is tempting to "add to" the story to add some excitement!

Sincerely,

David A. Kitchens, Editor

That "Just Irks Me!"

Several times I have heard people use the phrase, "That just irks me!" If I am going to be honest, then I have to admit that there were times in which I have used that exact same phrase.

From my point of view several things immediately stand out. There was something that provoked. According to some sources this source of "irritation" falls into one of the following categories:

• You need to set a limit
• You need to protect your time
• You need to find another way of doing things
• You're feeling resentful or angry
• You suffer from perfectionism

From my own personal point of view I see some validity in these categories. I am well aware that they aren't meant to represent every single scenario, but it does represent a starting point. 

Starting point?

At some level one must realize that you were "provoked". After having admitted that you were provoked and you responded, did your response help or harm the situation? After all, your response to that provocation says a lot about who you are as a person. It says a lot about your character, your intentions, and your outlook on life.

The scripture teaches that anger resides in the lap of fools. There are going to be things that makes us angry.

Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry; for anger rests in the bosom of fools. Ecclesiastes 7:9 ASV

The Apostle Paul had this to say...

Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil. - Ephesians 4:26-27 KJV

Anger after all is a natural human response. Yeshua (Jesus) got angry, and yet did not sin. Take that anger and use it as energy to do good. Do NOT cause more damage. Do NOT cause other people to become "angry" at you for doing what you know is the wrong thing to do. Maybe there is some things you need to change within your own life. 

Sincerely,

David A. Kitchens, Editor

 

Tyranny of the Majority

Let me first start off with admitting that this is a highly debated subject. There are numerous examples of this happening throughout the world. One example from recent history is society of Germany before World War II.

The Ancient Greek's were the first, according to some, to recognize that one inherent weakness of a Democracy is when the Majority acts in such a way as to reinforce their hold on power. The Minorities in these situations, have no recourse but to endure.

The Ancient Roman's were notorious about this! Their Army, for a long period of time, was unbeatable. Once they conquered a civilization, they set about to eradicate their traditions, customs, and civilization. The conquered civilization saw their people used as gladiators and/or slaves. The Majority Roman didn't see the reason as to why they should even considered the "rights" of the conquered civilization.

Adolf Hitler didn't start off as being as bad as he would become. He played to the fears and superstitions of a people long held in the grip of crippling economic sanctions. Here, according to some, was a man who understood the plight of the people. In time they voted him into office. It was only when he had solidified his hold on office did the true nature come out. It can be argued that Adolf Hitler was the visible example of a society that had long since lost its way!

A smart leader knows how to use the fears and superstitions of a people. He can galvanize their fear into political action. Fear, is a great motivator. People living in a fear-based reality often will give up their "rights" in order to feel safe. It has been stated that a society in which it will give up their rights in order to feel safe, deserve neither!

Sincerely,

David Kitchens, Editor

 

"Us Three's"

 

I recently heard a statement that struck me as odd. I come from a Military Background, and this statement does not and did not sit well with me.

I have run across my fair share of "leaders" and "wanna-BE's"! What do I mean by that? Well, first off a leader does not constantly mention his rank, position, or title. He doesn't shrink from it either. I have run across, as I have said, those who push their rank over and above their actual job performance.

It does not follow that just because you have a rank, position, or title that people, in general, will suddenly like you or respect you. Respect is earned by how you do the job and how you treat people on a daily basis.

Trying out for a promotion with the idea that somehow you will be respected, liked, or even have your opinion accepted is one of the biggest mistakes people can make. If your looking to be "liked" then that promotion will actually do more harm than good. Someone getting that "promotion" will suddenly find themselves being in the spotlight a little more than they actually want.

The following example serves to illustrate the foolishness of the statement of "us three's. At no time does this story contain real people or real circumstances. It is an illustration only.

There was at this one psychiatric hospital two nurses. One would come in and do their job quite well. They strived to maintain a therapeutic environment while doing their job to the best of their ability. There were days in which this would be accomplished and other days it was a battle.

The "other" nurse constantly complained about staff not respecting them. They hated how the "patients" constantly asked for someone else. This nurse look forward to treating the "new" patient's. After all they weren't "biased". To their dismay each and every new patient would develop this same bias time and time again. Surely, in their opinion, it wasn't their fault! Never mind the fact that when problem's arose they were quick with condemnation! They were quick with finding fault. They were quick to place blame on everyone and everything except them. Yet, their job performance suffered due to a lack of attention to detail. Their job performance showed how little they actually cared about the people in their care and the people they work with.

Sincerely,

David A. Kitchens, Editor

Dance with me

 Dance with me 

Take time to listen!