The Mind's Eye

And the manna [was] as coriander seed, and the color thereof as the color of bdellium. [And] the people went about, and gathered [it], and ground [it] in mills, or beat [it] in a mortar, and baked [it] in pans, and made cakes of it: and the taste of it was as the taste of fresh oil. And when the dew fell upon the camp in the night, the manna fell upon it. - Numbers 11:7-9 KJV

Several years ago, This verse brought to my attention several things in my life. It still serves as a reminder that no matter how good things seemed to be within "Egypt," hunger (or appetites) has a way of causing you to forget the times you wish you were free. Numbers 11:7 describes the manna as being the size of coriander seed and the color of bdellium. While it is unknown (exactly) what the color was, it would have stood out. Several Jewish commentators have said it was white, whereas other have compared it to the color of Myrrh. Other's still have compared it to the color of the resin of Raw Indian Gum Resin. The color was not so strange as to be unappealing with the naked eye. The food was said to be so nutritious that they didn't need anything else. Yet, they clamored the "delights of Egypt"  and seem to have forgotten the horrors of Egypt. They were physically out of Egypt, yet their spirit remained.

 

The strength of familiarity is one of the toughest challenges to overcome. In your mind's eye, it is something you know. In your memory, you can recall the times that were precious to you. Sometimes not even a horrible chain of abuse can break the memories of those "good times." In this way, one can demonstrate the different ways of looking at things. What seems unremembered is the steps or the things you had to go through to get those "good things." Here, G-d had provided for them. All they had to do was gather it.

 

Imagine, if you will, going to the grocery store. Imagine being verbally, physically, mentally, or spiritually assaulted. Yet, you endure through it because you expect those "good things." Little by little, those "good things" are there to control every facet of your life.

Let me take you to a time where you are free of (albeit physically) the abusive person and situation. They may have been able to provide a lot of which you now miss. You are in now a place that you consider strange and unusual. Every day is a struggle. Every day there are reminders of "how good" you had it "back then." Is it tempting to minimize the abuse? Do you find yourself shifting blame to the person that recognized your need for help? Let me finish this by quoting a favorite passage of scripture that has been beneficial!

Better is a dinner of herbs, where love is than a fattened calf with hatred. - Proverbs 15:17 HNV