The Art of Killing Motivation

I will be the first to admit that a previous relationship failed. It is in this failed relationship that my inherent weaknesses are weapons to the benefit of the abuser. In the end, I didn't recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror. The person at the beginning was not the person at the end of it. 

The reasoning behind the abuse can be as varied as the people. Several professional sources indicate that the purpose of the manipulator is as follows:

1. To avoid being confronted
2. To put you on the defensive
3. To make you doubt yourself and your perception
4. To hide the aggressive intent
5. To avoid responsibility
6. To not have to change

It will get to the point where you start doubting yourself and how you view the world around you. You will find yourself relying on the perspective of the manipulator. 

Covert Tactics Manipulators Use to Control and Confuse You | What Is Codependency?

If the manipulator has done their job well, it will be difficult for an outsider to see the truth. The manipulator is controlling how everyone views the situation. They are not above feigning concern if it means gaining sympathy. 

The feigning of concern is one of the tactics professional sources mention. Some of the tactics include:

1. Overt aggression
2. Narcissistic abuse 
3. Emotional Abuse
4. Blaming
5. Complaining
6. Comparing
7. Feigning Ignorance
8. Feigning Innocence
9. Undermining
10. Fake Concern

I am remiss if I didn't mention that hope and recovery from this type of abuse exist. It can be hard to distinguish the difference between genuine concern for your well-being and the abuse you experienced. The overall goal is to stand on your own two feet without relying on them for support. I am not in a position to give advice. In some ways, I am still recovering. I can share some experiences, but they may not apply to you. Professional help is one resource.